Strauss online dating
Attractive women, on the other hand, use online dating as a screening tool. No, right, online dating is definitely not easier for women.
With that in mind, we only offer the service for men now. But women arguably have many of the exact same struggles with online dating, in terms of not having enough time for it, or having to wade through a lot of junk to get to the meaningful stuff. But for men, there’s this tremendous amount of outbound interest. In fact, the average guy has to send a dozen messages to get one response. But I want to probe you a bit on the tone of the site — because it comes across as very pick-up-artist-y.
A guy can’t afford to make mistakes with the ones who are in high demand. And then we’re also trying to come to an understanding of who he is, really pull out his strengths.
Naturally, these are the types our members are interested in. As for the archetypes, we strive to be equally reductive for our male and female archetypes. As far as I’m concerned, the more cats, the better. A lot of people don’t know their own strengths, so we ask very probing questions to pull that out.
You need to look candid, maybe look away from the camera — the “1,000-yard stare” is really effective. Anyway, then we start messaging from the client’s account.
This has been the most controversial point, I think, because people misunderstand what we’re doing — there’s this impression that we’re presenting people as something they’re not. We’re there to signal interest and get contact information. That more significant connection will come in-person — in-person chemistry trumps all. The person you meet can’t possibly match the profile, because the profile is — I don’t want to say fictionalized — but certainly idealized in a way the actual client is not. Whether you have a professional help you or not, that online and in-person impression can be different. [A note: This actually echoes social science research on online dating in general, which has found that lying is not only widespread, but necessary.
You know, like come clean about those early messages?
I know a thing or two about online dating — I went on my first online date maybe 20 years ago. And we break out the women by archetypes as well: say girl next door, or more cosmopolitan, or trouble — Wait, you literally have an archetype called “trouble”?
I was talking to a girl in an AOL chatroom and we went for ice cream, to Baskin Robbins. Yeah, well — if a woman has dozens of pictures on her profile of her drinking 40s, you probably wouldn’t approach her the same way you’d approach a woman who says she’s “family first.” I definitely want to talk more about the way PDA sees women.
This transcript has been lightly edited for space and flow.
So to start off, why don’t you give me your pitch on Personal Dating Assistants. Well, PDA is for guys who want to go on more dates, but don’t necessarily have the skill set or the time to find women who interest them.